Julia Here....

When my son was 5 years old I went back to college. It was a crazy life with a full-time job, a spouse who was gone more then home, and raising a special needs child. My mother was helping me take care of my son or college would have been out of my reach. I was a trained medical assistant so I had a good job for the time. My mother became ill and passed away within a few months of my college return. She was struck with a rare form of cancer that took her life very quickly. My best friend as well as my lifeline was now gone in an instant.
I tried to continue my education, but my guilt and fear of putting my son in daycare forced me to quit. As the mother of a special child society pretty much dictated that it was the mother who would take care of the child’s needs. The military reinforced this. My husband was rarely able to accompany us for medical visits and therapy. When my son was 8 years old I was forced to quit working due to my own health crisis.
We had to travel across country for our son’s specialized medical care, and often I had to travel alone. We had to make incredibly difficult decisions for our child over the phone, and I had to go through long surgeries without my husband being present. I often thought that as a mother and military spouse I was expected to suck it up.
Military leaders as well as civilians often voice to spouses that we knew what we were getting into when marrying military. That statement never has made sense to me. Should all people serving their country stay single? Never fall in love? Never have kids? I cannot imagine my life without Scott.
Being military required us to move often. As the mother a special needs child this made my life a challenge in other ways. All school districts had their own interpretation of the laws regarding disabled students and what services they offered. Gathering information and fighting for my son’s rights was usually my job alone as the mother. We have been fortunate to have been stationed near more good schools then sucky ones.
My husband is obligated to anything the military asks of him first, and it was my problem back then that our son was sick. I see this in the civilian community also. The mother is often the one to have to sacrifice her own needs, and career to take care of the family. If women do not put the family’s needs first they are ostracized and looked down upon.
I don't want anyone to think that I have any resentment towards my son. I have been so truly blessed with the precious gift. I have loved every minute of raising a spectacular human being. Raising Joshua has led me in the direction of social work. I have been blogging about these early years to show others a little bit of what it looks like inside the military family. I am not whining or asking anyone to feel sorry for us either. We have raised Joshua to hold his head high, and that he can do anything he wants. Sometimes its all about finding that path that works for us. Scott, Joshua, and I are a great team that has worked together through many challenges. The best thing is that the good things in our life are what we choose to focus on.